"Don't Forget
       the Pepper Spray"

Guns, Ex-Cons and Police Incarceration.....Sounds more like something that would happen in an action movie than on a date,  but as these TRUE stories show, dating can be dangerous, shocking and most of all, FUNNY. So find yourself a seat and get ready to laugh, cry and shake your head in disbelief.  And if you're thinking about dating, get yourself some pepper spray- you'll need it! Available in book or ebook.

Dating quotes from Don't Forget the Pepper Spray:

“Do you know what a night in lock-up does to a $500 Betsy Johnson dress?”

“He whispered into my ear that I should remember that he was carrying a gun” 

“My handsome and perfect date had turned into a swollen and suddenly unconscious man”

“We had several things in common; a love for the original Twilight Series, London and Vicodin”

“Choking back the tears he told me how he was once the greatest diver in the world and that had he been in the Olympics, Greg Louganis would never have won Gold.”

“No, women don’t play; their job is to cheer on their man from the sidelines.”

“While in the car, he pulled out a little bottle of pheromones and started slathering it all over his chest and neck”

“It couldn’t have been the girl in the photos because she was easily twice as wide physically as I am…”

“ …I was just coming to terms with being the smarter half of the power couple when Eric stopped and burst into tears.”


“If a guy did this at any other place than a bar or a club, he could be arrested for sexual assault.

”….He said “Prison is so much better than Jail.”

“The man was wearing make-up. This was no ordinary make-up mind you. This was really thick foundation …. lip gloss …. eye liner ….and mascara!”

“As if my muddled appearance wasn’t bad enough, on my way out, I tripped and fell down the stairs”